The little girl staring into the oily black slime with such a pleasant smile. Figured, if she can do it so can I. Boy, do I have a list of demons - Perfectionism. Pleasing. Doubt. Fear. Numbing. Care-taking. I started this after remembering the years and years of journaling. The years and years of counseling trying to fix something that just couldn't be fixed. In the process losing myself, losing Hope, losing Faith, and finding myself always sharing with everyone else, looking for the answers they couldn't provide, searching for something to fill the Void. Yet the hole I was trying to fill only got deeper. This is just me writing out what I've just begun to re-learn, re-realize, re-accept and re-claim. That I'm at my best when I'm living my Life, speaking my Truth, and not trying to People Please. It's me turning back the clock nearly 20+ years and getting back my honest smile.
