A little background

Several months ago I was gifted a book by a friend. This was a relatively new friendship so I was rather shocked when presented with what I thought was another Self-Help book. I actually said that to her - "So, you barely know me....what makes you think you can already give me a 'self-help' book?"

She went on to explain her thought process, which made sense. Seems we had similar life history yet she was much further down her healing path. Then, seeing my hesitancy to accept, she suggested I watch two TedTalks by the author - "It'll be like the Cliff Notes version of the book".

SOLD!! I could watch a 14 minute video....

The first one was this......

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

Then this one 

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame

If you haven't figured it out yet, I was given Ms. Browns book "Daring Greatly". What I appreciate about the suggestion to watch the videos first, is that now when I read her books, I hear her voice, her mannerisms, her......reality. I believe that when we read someone else's work we only hear our voice in our head. We don't hear the author. How could we? Most likely the book came as a recommendation from a friend, family member, VooDoo Head Shrinker, or black and white suggestion at the bookstore or Amazon. 

By watching Brene, more importantly HEARING her, I can enjoy the commonality that we all have through all our same struggles. The words on the pages become.......real. Honest. True. What I liked about this book is that it is research based, but told through someone applying what she has learned to herself and her family. To me THAT is the key aspect of what makes this such great information. Being hyper critical Virgo I have a burning desire to have to know what to DO. As a guy, I need to fix things, especially when someone is hurting. What I'm learning now is it's not healthy for me, or the other person, to try and fix their hurts. If anything, it's best for me to just be there, to find some similar experience that will allow me to have true empathy and/or compassion for them. That includes having the same damn thing for me. 

From someone that spent a couple decades numbing, hiding, keeping my Truth inside, it's a very difficult re-program of my brain. I'm learning that giving someone my Truth is WAY more important than trying to tell them what you think they want to hear. It's still exceptionally hard to shovel the yards and yards of emotional horse shit I've accumulated, but I'm working at it. 

I read that book and used it in a 'work book' fashion.  Journalling along the read. I tend to think this book will be more of a reference book, rather than one read, placed on the shelf and periodically dusted. 

In fact, it's already on loan to a buddy until his arrives. 

Well, I guess that's it. Time to start back in on painting the bathroom.